the end

Today began with an End. An end to a relationship I was never able to give enough to. I was given very high expectations that I was unable to accomplish, even when I tried my hardest. I had not felt I was able to be myself and was reminded of a past I fought really hard to leave behind. So today I allowed a door to be shut in my life, that I had already closed a month ago. Good bye friends of imperfections. Do not be fooled... no one is perfect or super human. Flaws that I love about myself, hard work and beautiful hair I will continue to love you and will return to you as soon as I can. I will miss running my hands through all the heads, but not the feeling of the unwanted child. Goodbye.

Gifts from the south west

I received in the mail yesterday a little package from my lover girl Kristin and her beau Theo an amazing hand crafted gift. I was so ecstatic!!!! I put a little vitamin e oil on my lobes and put these beauties on. Wore them to work today at MAC and still have them on. I am in complete love! I got loads of compliments on them all day and can't wait to show them off tonight at my little watering hole Pengillys .

Thank you so much Kristin and Theo!!!
I love having talented friends!

how to makeup: day to night

Look for day:

Blush- Style

Lips- it's a wow; Lip Glass

Eyes- Orb, Malt, Quarry

Mascara- Zoom Fast Black Lash

Look for Night:

Lip Liner- Just wonderful

Eye Liner- Teddy

Blush- Margin

Eye Shadow- Saddle, Smut

Brush- 275

xxxo

Sandra

song on sunday v.24

The other day I was sitting in one of my favorite coffee shops reading a book on my day off from my two jobs and I heard this song come on. I instantly got chills because it reminded me of this dance. Yeah I know I am kind of a nerd when it comes to SYTYCD, But I can not help it! Ever since I started watching the show years back, Whenever a song comes on that I have seen performed on the show I see the dance in my head and most times I get chills. I do indeed love this song just as much. I will say that I definitely love the dance more than her video, but you decide for yourself

Anyhow enjoy!

how to: snowy mountain look

xxxo

Sandra

Today as I got ready for work I noticed that my stomach was a bit bigger than usual. I feel really bloated and cranky. Now ladies we know what this means. Time for aunt Flow's visit! Or at least we are hoping.

Well as I am at work at MAC a very sweet lady with my name sake asked me "when are you due honey?" WTF!?!? Is it really that bad? I politely told her I wasn't and she said "oh" and I stood up straight and she said it was just the way I was leaning on the counter and standing. Man!!!! Seriously, it is time for me to take off these extra pounds I have put on since November. I know that it is winter weight but still not okay.

I am signing up for WW and going to the Y to start working out.

I need all your support on this.

Thoughts

Have you ever had a day where you think or even say out loud....
"that's it! I can not take it anymore! I hate what I am doing! I am giving up, it's not worth it!"

Well I have had that kind of a month, last month that is. It was the worst month I have had at the salon. I kept feeling put down, ignored, stressed, all around just not good feeling. Early this week I got a written warning saying that if I didn't not improve this month with bringing in new clients I would be talked to or let go. I started stressing. Now I love LOVE doing hair, but sometimes greater loves come along. But for me this was only because I was being bogged down with high expectations. I didn't really feel like I fit in at my salon due to a stupid personality test we took. I was one of 2 people who were not close or the same as others and found out that half of my team just didn't get me.

I sat down with Colin and a few friends throughout the next couple of days and thought about my options.
#1- I could quit and just leave a place where I didn't feel I could be myself or express my love for hair.
#2- I could stick it out and just deal with feeling bad and wait until I got let go.
#3- I could try my best an show my efforts and hope that was enough.

My emendate choice was #1. Why should I stay somewhere I can't be myself? Why should I have to change who I am to fit in... I am not in middle school!!!

I decided to not make any rash decisions and slept on it. After chatting with my manager at MAC I decided to give it my best shot and see how it works out. I can not promise I will meet their expectations or that in march I will still be doing hair there but at least I can try and not give up.

I also realized that my MAC family does care about me even though I am a freelance artist.
My heart is totally torn between wanting to just do freelance and work on my craft/clothing line and doing hair.

At this point in my life I thought I would have it all figured out. I would be successful and happy in all I am doing. And to be frank and honest... I have no idea! Maybe I just like too many things. Maybe I should just stick to one thing... But what fun is that?

I would love to hear what you all have to say about this matter. Spill your advice!


Xxxo
Sandra